My successful try to build confidence in medical school but let’s go into flashback, I’m not sure if it was a dream or reality, but something happened to me when I was little and it gave me a great deal of anxiety. One night, as I was sleeping in my father’s bedroom, I heard someone knocking at a small cupboard. When I opened my eyes, I saw someone wearing an all-white outfit—completely white, much like a mummy—with nothing black at all. I genuinely don’t know if it’s true or not, but that experience left me feeling extremely afraid. I didn’t go into the room alone for the following three to four years. I always make sure that the room is locked from the outside while I’m alone at home.
This trauma was so intense that it prevented me from interacting with strangers in real life. In the classroom, I was always silent when the teacher posed a question, even though I knew the answer but chose not to raise my hand. Because of my nervousness and lack of confidence, I did not engage in any extracurricular activities or speeches during my time in high school. My palms, feet, and armpits begin to profanely perspire as soon as I realize that I will have to deal with such an event. My hands get sweaty even if I have to shake hands with someone I know, like my uncle or a close friend. This was merely anxiety that elevated my hormones, such as adrenaline and thyroxine.
Nonetheless, I began following YouTubers like Thomas Frank, Ali Abdaal, and Matt D’Avella around 2023. I devoured their stuff so quickly, and these creators offered some really great tips on overcoming anxiety and gaining confidence. I watched their videos and began acting on what I learned, which was to write down my worries that was the greatest solution. I tried that, and it really helped. Even on my first day of medical school, I was very quiet and didn’t engage with other students. When I got back to my hostel, I opened my journal and wrote down a thousand words. I also set a goal for myself: tomorrow, I would talk to three people at the very least, which I did, and the majority of them are now friends. I wrote more than 300 journals. The second thing I did was try to put myself out there. I started making videos, and the first day when I finished the first five minutes, my shirt was completely soaked from the sweat. I still feel fear, but not the same kind of terror. I now find it enjoyable to do.
During our third week of medical school, a psychologist gave a presentation to a class of one hundred students. She asked, “What is your biggest problem? Let’s talk about it.” she repeated the question thrice but no one spoke. I thought, “I should talk about this “lack of confidence”. My hands and feet were sweating profusely before I even spoke, but I reminded myself that I am in medical school to become a really good doctor, not just a doctor, and have to groom my personality as well, so I have to get over this fear. I instantly brainstormed the words in mind that I was afraid to use in front of these 100 students. I knew I was highly competent in English, so I was prepared. However, when I started speaking, I stammered at the first line. Despite this, I didn’t back down and continued, explaining my situation in a clear and concise manner—but it was actually very difficult. to which the psychologist responded “There are a hundred students in this class, and every one of them has the same problem that you have illustrated, but nobody has the courage to speak about it. As you had the courage to speak up, she said, ‘I don’t think you lack confidence because this is very hard.’ The purpose of telling this anecdote was to demonstrate that you have to put yourself in situations that you don’t want to be in if you want to increase your confidence. Step outside of your comfort zone and take action. Don’t forget to write about it, as writing can actually resolve between 60% and 70% of your issues. I am aware that this is a difficult task; it took me a whole year to reduce my fear by 40%, but I can assure you that all of my effort was well worth it.
